A Salute to Brain-Dead Activity: Elliptical Machine Cardio

I do not like lines.  I hate them, in fact...and whatever I'm waiting for better be worth the wait.  This is a big reason why I cancelled my gym membership in 2001 and bought my own equipment.  That...plus I'm married and find no need to repel the masses of women that might be flirting with me at the gym.  Mostly it's the lines that I dislike.

Guess what?  Last year my wife signed our family up for the neighborhood YMCA.  I generally work out at the house, but on Sundays, the whole fam-damily heads to the Y for a workout.  I must admit, it's pretty cool.  We can put the kids in the day care center and workout with little to no line.  My tool of choice?  The Elliptical Trainer.

Yes - the elliptical machine is a little boring...it's the Toyota Prius of the health club world.  Don't be a hater - there's some cool stuff about ellipticals:

• Programs:  I absolutely love that I can select a program, e.g. Rolling Foothills, and a level, and the machine changes incline, resistance, etc.  With the variances in a hill program, you can go from struggling at 3mph to sprinting at 11mph.
• Synergistic:  If you're not cheating and holding onto the stationary bars, you can work out both your lower and upper body.  In fact, on the harder levels, you absolutely have to use the motion bars with your arms to help your legs.
• Self-contained:  You don't have to worry about balance, impact, bumping into people, getting run over by a car, getting bit by a snake, stepping on your dog's foot, etc.  You can literally close your eyes and crank up the "Kid Rock" MP3s (because that's how I roll) and go for it.

Unless you're one of the poor bastards stuck on the elliptical machines next to me, there are no real negatives.  Frankly, it's kind of nice to get my heart rate up without uber-focus required on my normal workouts.  It's the workout equivalent to watching a Bruce Willis movie - turn off your brain and go.